8.Amber Kyzer — Direct/Cross/Redirect/Recross (Recall)

AMBER KYZER: Amber Kyzer, K-Y-Z-E-R.

AMBER KYZER: I'm here for my babies.

AMBER KYZER: Yes, they did.

AMBER KYZER: In the beginning, Tim and I had a very strong relationship. I think we found a lot in common. I wasn't speaking to my family at the time and I'm not sure if he was really speaking to his at the time when we first met. And we just kind of latched onto each other. Later on, any little thing would kind of spark an argument and our relationship became volatile, not just on Tim's side, on mine as well. It got aggressive at times, violent, but we managed to stick through it because we had the children. Towards the end of our marriage, I think I was thinking the best interest for my children that it was not a good environment, it was not something that children needed to be seeing, so we separated ourselves. Tim initially left me and turned my power off and stuff. And I found it really hard because I just had nothing to offer my children. I could not provide for them. I think as a mother, I was making the best choice that I could. I trusted my husband at the time because he gave me no reason not to with my children. He was a good father while we were married. He promised to take care of them. We coparented pretty good towards the end. I think that's what took me back a little bit. I'm really sorry that everybody has to sit here for this. I don't think anybody saw this coming. And I know between myself and members of the Jones family themselves, I know if anybody had seen anything that any of us, any one of us would have done something about it so we wouldn't be in this position today.

AMBER KYZER: I did. I did. And I'd be lying if I sat here and said that everything in our marriage was bad. Tim and I had a lot of good times. Just becomes a point when things are volatile that you just make a choice where young children aren't seeing certain things. It's affecting them at a point and you make a choice to separate yourself from that person. And it's hard to separate yourself from that person because that's all you've known. All I knew from 19 was Tim.

AMBER KYZER: I do. And I don't say it lightly. He did not show my children mercy by any means. But my kids loved him and if I'm speaking on behalf of my kids and not myself, that's what I would have to say. I'm not here for me. The mom in me just wants him to feel everything that I feel, that my kids felt. Nothing justifies, nothing justifies what you've done. There's nothing you could possibly say that would justify what you've done to my babies, but they loved you. I loved you. I thought if we could reach a point to make things work for our children that we could. And then we'd argue again and I'd say there's the Tim, there's the Tim that I can't be with. It wasn't a game. It was a legitimate back and forth fight emotionally. I hope for mercy for you. I pray for you often. And I say that without excusing what he's done. I say that wholeheartedly from the depths of my soul. I don't want anyone to feel any more -- there's been so much loss, a lot of loss.

AMBER KYZER: No, ma'am.

AMBER KYZER: Yes, that's true.

AMBER KYZER: They are. I have a three-year-old that looks identical to Merah, identical, but she's not Merah.

AMBER KYZER: No.

AMBER KYZER: I have. I have watched every bit of this unfold.

AMBER KYZER: Yes.

AMBER KYZER: Oh, yes, and so much more about them. I think Tahn made his presence known when Woody started talking.

AMBER KYZER: I did. I didn't have physical means, but I -- they were very loved. And this is something I tell my kids every night, I do. I told them -- I talked to them on the phone and I mean it. My kids were wanted, they are loved and they are important. They are loved, they are wanted and they are important. Always. I've always wanted them, I've always loved them. I never told them that I didn't want them.

AMBER KYZER: Yes, it is.

AMBER KYZER: He did. He did know.

AMBER KYZER: He did.

AMBER KYZER: Yes, ma'am.

AMBER KYZER: Yes.

AMBER KYZER: Yeah, to be here. It was from yesterday. I was called to be here.

AMBER KYZER: Uh-huh.

AMBER KYZER: Yeah. That's why we have the jury.

AMBER KYZER: It is.

AMBER KYZER: No. No.

AMBER KYZER: And I need the Jones family to know that at the end, this is not my choice. This is not my choice. And I respect whatever choice you make. I need you guys to know that.

AMBER KYZER: No, you haven't.

AMBER KYZER: I do. I just can't.

AMBER KYZER: Right, I can't make that decision.

AMBER KYZER: No.

AMBER KYZER: I think any mother would. I think any mother would want to shred the face off of anybody who would harm her children, absolutely. Yes, that would be the mom in me.

AMBER KYZER: Uh-huh.

AMBER KYZER: Yes. I spoke very openly about that. I didn't get the chance just to kind of give a little -- I didn't have the chance to hear everything that had happened to my children, what literally happened to them or what happened that night, the things that led up to this, I wasn't aware of fully. So I was finding out along with you guys and the world what had happened to my children. So in retrospect, the mom in me was like fry him, fry him. Absolutely. But from the beginning, I have maintained that I -- I just -- I am not a death penalty -- I don't -- I'm a strong believer in no death penalty. But yes, I have had conflicting, very conflicting opinions with that with regards to what had happened to my children. Yes, naturally.

AMBER KYZER: Would it be the 18-wheeler?

AMBER KYZER: Tim and I were leaving Wal-Mart and we had gotten into an argument and he said hey, let's just play chicken then. You know, in a more stern, argumentative tone. And I said, Tim, it's not funny, it's not F'ing funny. It's not F'ing funny. We had the kids in the back seat. So an 18-wheeler was coming this way and Tim steered the car where the 18-wheeler would hit me directly. And as we were driving toward the 18-wheeler -- I mean, it wasn't much of a distance at all and Tim jerked the car that way and just started laughing about it like it was funny. And I know he remembers that one. And I did report that. It scared me. My children were in the car. Had that 18-wheeler hit, it would have killed -- it would have killed everybody in the car.

AMBER KYZER: No.

AMBER KYZER: Yes.

AMBER KYZER: I did. One incident, in particular, we were arguing. I can't remember what it was about. But Tim grabbed me by the side of my head and head butted me to the point where I just blanked out. And when I got up, it was just kind of what just happened. But I could feel my head kind of jar -- my brain jar in my skull. Shortly after that, he threw a phone at my face and broke my back teeth out.

AMBER KYZER: You know, I'd like to say none of it. My daughter -- my oldest two probably witnessed the most. Merah witnessed a lot of Tim spitting in my face. I was always a whore. Spitting in my face. And I'm not talking about (indicated), I'm talking like hocking loogies and spitting them in my face. He would take me by the side of my hair and smack my head as hard as he could off the car window. Or while I was pregnant, we would be arguing in the car and he would stomp the brake to where the belt would just tighten around my stomach. He would -- the verbal abuse was always that he would chop me up and feed me to the pigs because pigs will eat everything on me but my teeth and I'll never be found.

AMBER KYZER: It did. You know, I think when you're in a situation, when you're in a marriage -- and it was volatile both ways. I'm not going to sit here and lie and sugar coat it and pretend that I was this innocent woman. When you're in a relationship and it's like a tornado and hurricane and it's like a head-on collision, there's no coming down from there. There just isn't. It escalated more when we got here and I think losing the Jones -- we would go the Jones family's residence, his dad's residence, every Saturday, I believe, to have family dinners. That was my break out of my home. And I would vent to my mother-in-law or just have a moment and cry because that's all I could do. When we got down here, we didn't have that support to just run to. I don't think either of us really knew what to do. I think -- I couldn't get my kids out to go to a park if I wanted to. I was stuck in a home for nine years all the time until we went to his dad's house. And I've got to say, as a woman speaking honestly, it will drive you nuts. It'll just drive you nuts. It's like the homeschooling with Merah and Elias, I'm not a certified teacher, so if my kids weren't up to par with their grades, I just -- I'm not -- I'm not going to pretend to be.

AMBER KYZER: At times, he did. At times, he did. I'm not going to lie. And, you know, I think his dad and his grandmother would reiterate this, too, though, when you make Tim mad, you make him mad. There's no working with him. There's no in the middle. It's either this or nothing at all. So it was rare that he would work with me on something. I believe he did work with me on letting me take them to Chuckie Cheese and treat them to that. That was special to me because that's something I really wanted to do. I paid for every visit.

AMBER KYZER: That's how I took it, yes. That's how I took it.

AMBER KYZER: Yeah, it can be. Tim knows how to manipulate. Tim knows how to be stubborn and hard-headed and manipulative, coercive.

AMBER KYZER: I think a lot of what my kids may have said was coerced, I really do, because that's not the relationship I had with my children. When my children were with me, there was no problem. There was no problem. My kids, mommy, and ran to me with open arms. I am telling you my kids were as stubborn with me and if they had an issue with me, they wouldn't have ran to me.

AMBER KYZER: I was not aware of that. I was not. So when I say, I'm finding stuff out along with you guys, I truly am. I was not aware that my kids felt like I didn't love them. I was not -- because I showed it often. Any time -- I believe as a parent when you are wrong for something, if you expect your child to not lie and tell you the truth and to make things right, I believe as a parent you should do the same. And that has always been my thing with my children. That's why the notes were written to them. I wasn't the only failure in the marriage, but if I hurt my children, and I did, then I need to apologize for it and to address it. So no, I was not aware of them hearing that. I always let them know you are loved, you are wanted and you are important. And I expressed that to them often. My fondest last memory of my son, Nahtahn, was him running to me across -- Tim had just parked in a parking space at Chick-Fil-A. And my son got out of the car and he had a little checkered shirt, which I still have to this day that I can't bring myself to wash because it still smells like him. He had his arms open and just took off in the parking lot saying, Mommy. I said, Whoa, son, you're going to get hit by a car. The tight hug that my son gave me just -- I try to hold onto that because if they died thinking I didn't want them or love them, it's just going to kill me. It just --

AMBER KYZER: The two children -- out of all five of my children, the two that I always defended the most, that I found myself having to defend the most were Merah and Nahtahn. Nahtahn, primarily. Tahn did not have a problem expressing his feelings. He was very bold. If you did something, he would very much let you know to your face. You could have a zit and he would let you know that it was ugly and to pop it. That's how upfront he was about his feelings. I think there was some resentment there with Tim. I think there was resentment with my daughter, Merah, and my son, Nahtahn, wanting to be with me, I truly do. I think every parent when you're in that situation where your kids are separated and you're fighting for -- you're vying for attention and their love. You are pick me, pick me. In that situation, I guess I didn't fight hard enough. I didn't feel like putting my kids through this tug of war was going to make it any better. I had my feelings and my opinions of their dad and I felt like when they got older, they'd figure it out for themselves. Tim had other methods of it.

AMBER KYZER: Yes, I did. Yes, I did. And he let me know it. Tim let me know it.

AMBER KYZER: He had many times, numerous times.

AMBER KYZER: Yes. I would say, Tim, what have I done as a parent? The Court didn't find anything wrong with me as a parent. I had joint custody. I chose as a mother what I thought was the most responsible thing with making him primary custodial parent. I obtained a car. I obtained a license. I got a management job and I got my high school diploma. All to prove to the system that I was a good enough parent. It just wasn't good enough for Tim and it never was going to be good enough for Tim. I didn't have anything to offer. He was very insistent on them not being around Shawn.

AMBER KYZER: And then I found out about Chrystal.

AMBER KYZER: Uh-huh.

AMBER KYZER: Yes. And he was 24 by the way. He was 24 when we got together, I was 27.

AMBER KYZER: No, I was not aware of that. I was not even aware -- currently, I live about five minutes from Tim's old place. And I was not aware that he had had that place set up and had Chrystal living there at all. It was not until the guardian ad litem stepped into the case. We were both equally paying for her, I believe, for her services. And she just -- I said, well, who's watching my kids? You know, I'm a mom, I want to know who's watching my children because this isn't right. You know, if I'm not working, why can't you just drop them with me? I would be willing to meet him and go there, whatever the case is, because they're familiar with me. It gives me a little extra time with them. That wasn't going to happen. That was a problem. Well, that's when I found out about Chrystal and her being involved with -- we were still weren't divorced, so my husband -- and it hit me the wrong way. Here, I'm being accused of sleeping with a 17-year-old boy and it's him that's doing it. You know, I didn't jump into a relationship with Shawn like everybody's proclaiming. That's not how it happened at all. And it's unfair for that to be put out there. Everything -- I feel like everything I am accused of is quite opposite.

AMBER KYZER: To make me look like the bad parent.

AMBER KYZER: Yes, ma'am, he did.

AMBER KYZER: No.

AMBER KYZER: I'll respect whatever the jury decides.

AMBER KYZER: I am.